Torchwood Season 2

I'm bored so hey, here's a recap with very little spoilage:

Episode 1: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
James Marsters guest stars as Captain John Hart, a fellow Time Agent and ex of Jack's. Captain John has his own agenda and tricks all the silly, trusting Torchies.

This was quite possibly the best episode ever... of any show ever. That's not because of the hot kiss between the two captains. He did for Torchwood what he did to the last few seasons of Buffy; Breathed new life into it. They really need to keep him as a reoccurring character.

Episode 2: Sleeper
Whoops! The Torchies wake up alien sleeper cells. (If these people are the last defense, we are doomed.) The alien design was brilliant though. And it looks like the aliens will make an appearance at some point in the future.

Episode 3: To the Last Man
This one was weird. There's a soldier from WWI that is kept frozen at Torchwood. (Who else do they have living in the freezer?) At some point in the future, the past and the present will merge and bad things will happen. So this guy is going to put the times back in their place. (I really didn't get this.) But don't feel bad for him, he gets to spend one day awake each year and most of the day he's poked by Owen. For the past few years, the time he's not being poked by Owen, he spends with Tosh. Too bad that Tosh doesn't have such a great record with keeping love interests alive.

Episode 4: Meat
Some slime balls find a sperm whale sized alien that's slipped through the rift. One of the more brilliant slime balls finds a way to sell it to a local meat processor. Yum. Trouble ensues when the Torchies uncover the alien meat in a crashed truck - a truck that was coincidentally contracted from Rhys' truck company. Even more trouble ensues when Rhys (Gwen's boyfriend who has no clue she's in Torchwood) sees Gwen at the site of the crash. Warning: the last five minutes or so don't really make sense.

Episode 5: Adam
Adam is a very naughty alien that can alter people's memories with a touch. In a matter of seconds he has Tosh believing she's attractive, Ianto believing he's a serial killer, Owen believing he's a likable character, and Gwen forgetting about Rhys. Alternate realities are not bad things.

You do get to see Jack's home world and family which was cool. However Ianto cries again. I can't stand him. He's a big baby man.

Episode 6: Reset
Martha, one of the only likable Dr. Who characters, makes an appearance. People who have mysteriously been cured from incurable diseases start showing up dead. Ironic? Someone has been shoving a big needle through their eye and extracting something from their heads. There is smallish "ew" factor to this episode. Martha goes undercover as a test subject to find out if the lab is to blame. There is a cliff hanger at the end of this episode. One of the Torchies may or may not have stopped being unlikable.

Episode 7: Dead Man Walking
Apparently Jack ,who's lived on earth for what 150 years, never caught an episode of Buffy or Angel. When you bring dead people back, there are always consequences, duh.

Owen is resurrected by Jack with the second glove that's been kept at the Weeble church. They just don't wear jumpsuits and orthopedic shoes, they're bible thumpers as well. Something masquerading as death piggy backs with Owen's soul. Martha gets old and the Torchies unintentionally kill 12 innocent people. Martha miraculously gets better when Owen defeats "death" but his life is still over since he can't drink, sleep, or shag. Can't wait for Episode 8 that seems to be a lot of Owen whining and brooding.

Episode 8: A Day in the Death
This is episode lived up the teaser. Lots of brooding and whining by Owen. Jack even takes away his badge and gun and puts him on coffee duty to put the cherry on the whine sundae.

I have some fundamental problems with Owen's condition. He's alive in the sense that he has brain function. No organs are functioning and his blood flow has stopped. He is warned not to hurt himself because he will not heal. But he of course cuts himself so the wound has to be continuously stitched. Don't want an open wound because he lacks the ability to fight off infection. This is going to be an issue eventually as his body begins to rot around him. Can't give him antibiotics because there's blood flow.

Owen in a snit throws out all his food and his toothbrush. Dead or not, no one should deal with his stanky breath and he's still a candidate for gum disease.

The Torchies eventually give Owen a job because they need someone without body heat. Owen meets an old billionaire that's bought some kind of lighted alien shell off of eBay that he thinks is keeping him alive. Eventually old guy buys it* and Owen walks away with the shell. I don't know if the shell had some kind of super power besides being a nightlight but it gives Owen some kind of Prozac shot and he stops brooding for the moment.

*No breath comes back. Owen has breath. Angel has breath. They talk so they inhale. They can exhale as well. It yet again makes no fing sense that they can't perform cpr.

Episode 9: Something Borrowed
Gwen gets knocked up with an alien baby on her wedding day. The usual hijinks ensue but not before her in-laws think she's carrying Jack's bastard child.

I really hate that they've never really developed a Gwen/Jack love story but they continually refer to some passion between them.

I really think that Rhys isn't long for this series though. Sooner or later he's going to get killed off and Gwen's going to end up in Jack's bed.

Episode 10: From Out of the Rain
Mildly scary circus folk come out of an old film. I think this has been done before and quite a bit better. Pretty dull episode but we find out that Jack has spent some time as a side show act.

Episode 11: Adrift
From IMDB, "When a local teenager disappears Gwen is drawn into an investigation that reveals a darker side of Torchwood. Hundreds of people have disappeared without trace, but why is Jack obstructing attempts to find them? The answer seems to lie in the rift, and as Gwen follows the trail she makes a shocking discovery."

The darker side of Torchwood revealed is that Jack is an ass and he enjoys setting Gwen up. The shocking discovery is that Torchwood really isn't well funded. For an agency that's supposed to be our defense against aliens, you'd think they'd get more than $100 to open up a half way house for rift victims. They need to do some fund raisers. Maybe a bake sale. I'm sure Jack makes killer brownies when he's not being an ass.

PC Andy makes an appearance and Gwen walks in on Jack and Ianto. Possibly the only enjoyable parts of this episode.

When is Rhys going to start knocking Gwen around?! I keep forgetting that Rhys is a self obsessed ass as well. Suddenly the Rhys/Gwen/Jack/Ianto love square is making sense.