Torchwood Season 2

I'm bored so hey, here's a recap with very little spoilage:

Episode 1: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
James Marsters guest stars as Captain John Hart, a fellow Time Agent and ex of Jack's. Captain John has his own agenda and tricks all the silly, trusting Torchies.

This was quite possibly the best episode ever... of any show ever. That's not because of the hot kiss between the two captains. He did for Torchwood what he did to the last few seasons of Buffy; Breathed new life into it. They really need to keep him as a reoccurring character.

Episode 2: Sleeper
Whoops! The Torchies wake up alien sleeper cells. (If these people are the last defense, we are doomed.) The alien design was brilliant though. And it looks like the aliens will make an appearance at some point in the future.

Episode 3: To the Last Man
This one was weird. There's a soldier from WWI that is kept frozen at Torchwood. (Who else do they have living in the freezer?) At some point in the future, the past and the present will merge and bad things will happen. So this guy is going to put the times back in their place. (I really didn't get this.) But don't feel bad for him, he gets to spend one day awake each year and most of the day he's poked by Owen. For the past few years, the time he's not being poked by Owen, he spends with Tosh. Too bad that Tosh doesn't have such a great record with keeping love interests alive.

Episode 4: Meat
Some slime balls find a sperm whale sized alien that's slipped through the rift. One of the more brilliant slime balls finds a way to sell it to a local meat processor. Yum. Trouble ensues when the Torchies uncover the alien meat in a crashed truck - a truck that was coincidentally contracted from Rhys' truck company. Even more trouble ensues when Rhys (Gwen's boyfriend who has no clue she's in Torchwood) sees Gwen at the site of the crash. Warning: the last five minutes or so don't really make sense.

Episode 5: Adam
Adam is a very naughty alien that can alter people's memories with a touch. In a matter of seconds he has Tosh believing she's attractive, Ianto believing he's a serial killer, Owen believing he's a likable character, and Gwen forgetting about Rhys. Alternate realities are not bad things.

You do get to see Jack's home world and family which was cool. However Ianto cries again. I can't stand him. He's a big baby man.

Episode 6: Reset
Martha, one of the only likable Dr. Who characters, makes an appearance. People who have mysteriously been cured from incurable diseases start showing up dead. Ironic? Someone has been shoving a big needle through their eye and extracting something from their heads. There is smallish "ew" factor to this episode. Martha goes undercover as a test subject to find out if the lab is to blame. There is a cliff hanger at the end of this episode. One of the Torchies may or may not have stopped being unlikable.

Episode 7: Dead Man Walking
Apparently Jack ,who's lived on earth for what 150 years, never caught an episode of Buffy or Angel. When you bring dead people back, there are always consequences, duh.

Owen is resurrected by Jack with the second glove that's been kept at the Weeble church. They just don't wear jumpsuits and orthopedic shoes, they're bible thumpers as well. Something masquerading as death piggy backs with Owen's soul. Martha gets old and the Torchies unintentionally kill 12 innocent people. Martha miraculously gets better when Owen defeats "death" but his life is still over since he can't drink, sleep, or shag. Can't wait for Episode 8 that seems to be a lot of Owen whining and brooding.

Episode 8: A Day in the Death
This is episode lived up the teaser. Lots of brooding and whining by Owen. Jack even takes away his badge and gun and puts him on coffee duty to put the cherry on the whine sundae.

I have some fundamental problems with Owen's condition. He's alive in the sense that he has brain function. No organs are functioning and his blood flow has stopped. He is warned not to hurt himself because he will not heal. But he of course cuts himself so the wound has to be continuously stitched. Don't want an open wound because he lacks the ability to fight off infection. This is going to be an issue eventually as his body begins to rot around him. Can't give him antibiotics because there's blood flow.

Owen in a snit throws out all his food and his toothbrush. Dead or not, no one should deal with his stanky breath and he's still a candidate for gum disease.

The Torchies eventually give Owen a job because they need someone without body heat. Owen meets an old billionaire that's bought some kind of lighted alien shell off of eBay that he thinks is keeping him alive. Eventually old guy buys it* and Owen walks away with the shell. I don't know if the shell had some kind of super power besides being a nightlight but it gives Owen some kind of Prozac shot and he stops brooding for the moment.

*No breath comes back. Owen has breath. Angel has breath. They talk so they inhale. They can exhale as well. It yet again makes no fing sense that they can't perform cpr.

Episode 9: Something Borrowed
Gwen gets knocked up with an alien baby on her wedding day. The usual hijinks ensue but not before her in-laws think she's carrying Jack's bastard child.

I really hate that they've never really developed a Gwen/Jack love story but they continually refer to some passion between them.

I really think that Rhys isn't long for this series though. Sooner or later he's going to get killed off and Gwen's going to end up in Jack's bed.

Episode 10: From Out of the Rain
Mildly scary circus folk come out of an old film. I think this has been done before and quite a bit better. Pretty dull episode but we find out that Jack has spent some time as a side show act.

Episode 11: Adrift
From IMDB, "When a local teenager disappears Gwen is drawn into an investigation that reveals a darker side of Torchwood. Hundreds of people have disappeared without trace, but why is Jack obstructing attempts to find them? The answer seems to lie in the rift, and as Gwen follows the trail she makes a shocking discovery."

The darker side of Torchwood revealed is that Jack is an ass and he enjoys setting Gwen up. The shocking discovery is that Torchwood really isn't well funded. For an agency that's supposed to be our defense against aliens, you'd think they'd get more than $100 to open up a half way house for rift victims. They need to do some fund raisers. Maybe a bake sale. I'm sure Jack makes killer brownies when he's not being an ass.

PC Andy makes an appearance and Gwen walks in on Jack and Ianto. Possibly the only enjoyable parts of this episode.

When is Rhys going to start knocking Gwen around?! I keep forgetting that Rhys is a self obsessed ass as well. Suddenly the Rhys/Gwen/Jack/Ianto love square is making sense.

Smaug

Yes, I am all excited that there will be a Hobbit movie. Yay!

The most anticipated casting is of course the voice of Smaug. LotR was a great series with mostly little know actors and for most of the cast of the Hobbit that would work well. They *have* to bring Ian McKellen back for Gandalf and possibly Hugo Weaving for Elrond but the rest could be unknowns.

However, Smaug like Aslan has to be a recognizable voice. But unlike Aslan, they should pick someone cool and not disappointing like Liam Nieson.

Smaug's voice has to be deep, arrogant, sinister, slithering and seductive. He also has to be British and NOT David Tennant.

Jen's Nominations:

Andy Serkis - my first choice. He did a great job as Gollum, the Witchking and King Kong. Just let him go to town and I'm sure he'll come up with the right voice. Maybe Andy isn't really a big name but as far as voices go, he's good.

Richard Amitage - I love his voice. It might need to be brought down to make it a bit deeper but he can do sinister and seductive. He tends to get a little whiny and nasally when angry though. But I think I secretly want to see him as Beorn.

Jeremy Irons - He could most definitely play a dragon and his voices kind of slithers at times. He was in that Eragon movie so that might hurt his chances.

Alan Rickman - Next to Christopher Lee (who is Saruman and can't be Smaug unfortunately), he has the best voice on the planet. He could be Smaug but then I would be attracted to Smaug. Then I would yet again be conflicted.

Jason Issacs - Past work: Lucius Malfoy and James Hook. I'm convinced. He has a good range too.

Patrick Stewart - Yes, he could do it but would it be much of a shocker? I didn't list Sean Connery because he seems like a given. I may change my mind on Patrick Stewart. Maybe he'd be good for one of the Dale guys. Not Bard but maybe his dad.

Bill Nighy - He's got a great voice and great range. I think out of everyone he has my favorite angry voice.

Sam Neil - I've always thought of him as a sort of a poor man's Hugo Weaving and since Hugo needs to be Elrond, Sam could do it. He can be seductive.

Max Van Sydow - Not British but he can pull it off. And seriously, how cool would it be if he were Smaug?

Nicol Williamson - Although maybe not the nicest of human beings, his Merlin made Excalibur. And his narration on the Hobbit record is a treasured childhood memory of mine. And hey, IMDB says he's available.

Honoroable Mention:
David Warner - Because I love David Warner. He's been in pretty much everything, done a lot of voice work and has a very memorable voice. A voice that's perfect for a dragon.

It's not too late.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20185951,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Unless you're opening an agency to help struggling single moms, shut up. We don't need to know every moment of pain in your life and you don't need the attention. Just take a swim in your huge Scrooge McDuck sized vault the next time you feel the need to share. The next headline will be J.K. Rowling forced to wear polyester pants while living in poverty. Oh, the horror.

This makes me sick.

I hate this woman.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080229/ap_en_ot/harry_potter_lawsuit

Seriously, Jo, go crawl under the rock you came out from and stay there. You obviously know that the HP is your only claim to fame and you're holding on to every dime with a death grip. Exactly how much money will it take to fill the empty void where your soul should be?

The Dark is Rising

I had to watch this because of Sean.

Last year Sean drug Jason to the movies to see this craptacular piece of film because Jonathan Jackson was it in. That's him in the upper left hand corner of the movie poster.

You would actually think he was in this movie because he's on the poster, but he's not. Jason had to sit through hours of poorly written dialog, b movie special effects, and boring plot points for nothing.

This was the worst movie I've seen in years and I happen to enjoy really bad movies. This wasn't enjoyable. Christopher Eccleston wasn't even enjoyable. I sincerely hope the book was better than this "movie".

You know if you're going to make a movie that's going to compete with the Harry Potter franchise, it should be original and mildly interesting. Not everyone has the same budget as the HP movies but the special effects were just poor for something coming out this century.

This movie was just bad. No one should see it.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I really can't stand Brad Pitt and I don't want to voluntarily give money to anyone who's name ends in Affleck, but this movie was just superb. Superb acting, beautiful shots, and just brutal violence.

It does have a slow pace at times so if you're trying to stay up past your bedtime to finish it, you just may very well nod off a few times. But I did want to finish it.

Basically it's about the last days of Jesse James, who shares my birthday, btw. At this point in his life, he's paranoid and worn from the years of leading a brutal life. Brad Pitt is good and a little frightening at times when he loses control. I am thankful that we have a violent media to desensitize us now.

Casey Affleck is just amazing as Robert Ford, who has his own personality disorders. He is just plain creepy. He should get an oscar for being creepy. And they do show the aftermath of the shooting on Bob and his own brutal murder.

The whole movie leads up to the moment when Bob shoots and kills Jesse. It does it well. I found myself holding my breath through the last five minutes.

Ok, so it brings up lots of questions like the portray of celebrities in the media and how a killer could possibly be portrayed as a saint. And did Jesse know about the plot to kill him and did he let it happen?

Cloverfield

It's taken me awhile to get back to this, but I absolutely loved Cloverfield. (Clovey is above. Isn't he a cutie? Rar!)

The shakey camera work did make me a little ill afterwards and my inner ear was very unforgiving. However, I don't recall the last movie that gave me an "oh, shit" moment as I cowered in my seat...maybe Aliens 4. And it wasn't scary like having to sleep with the lights on for two weeks after watching the Exorcist for the first time. I am really now a coward.

The absolutely best thing about this movie was that it was pretty much just the monster attacking New York. There was very little back story featured in the movie - you can find it online though. And you know, after sitting through the pain that was the Transformers Movie, I was just fine with that.

I also liked Hud who was filming. He made me giggle quite a few times and alas he is now just under three feet tall according to his myspace page.

'What is that?'
'It's a terrible thing.'